Amber-Alert at the Local Starbucks

(This post was originally made several years ago on my previous blog. Christopher Hitchens has since passed away of cancer)

Let’s talk about coffee. If, by the title, you were expecting some sad human interest story about an abused or abducted child then you came to the wrong place. I am going to tell you about a story of abuse and abduction, but not the kind you’re thinking of. First, however, I want to talk about coffee.
Do you remember the first time you ever bought yourself a cup? As a 90s adolescent I was more fortunate than young men in previous generations in that straight, black, sugerless coffee was no longer what you had to regularly ingest in order to be inducted into the world of manhood. cappuccino was en vogue, and if you really wanted to seem eccentric you could even order a latte. Times have changed. Now coffee is everywhere. You can even get “gourmet” caffeinated concoctions in the strangest places. What does this have to do with child abduction? Just hold on, I’m getting there.
People have become so obsessed with coffee that there are sometimes Starbucks shop’s across the street from each other, as seen above. 21st century Americans spend hours at these places, (I earned my bachelors degree and wrote my first book at coffee shops). Furthermore, a lot of people are so obsessed with coffee that they not only spend time at Starbucks, but also have books about coffee, multiple coffee mugs, multiple coffee makers (espresso and regular), and even art to celebrate coffee (or perhaps western boots it would seem). Perhaps they even have a God, as the mythical siren is featured in the center of the Starbucks logo. What does all of this have to do with child abduction? Alright, alright!
This man is trying to destroy your child’s faith in Christianity. You can brush this off and ignore the reality, but he has made the repeated claim that it is his desire that this generation of Christianity will be the last. He knows the Bible better than Jane and Joe Christian do (you’ll recall from my previous posts that these are names I am using to represent average churchgoers). He knows church history better than Jane and Joe as well. and he is a rhetorical master. By the way, he has compatriots in atheism at many institutions of higher learning where Jane and Joe’s kid will go (I’ve met them). He has an army of like-minded teenage followers who regularly talk to Jane and Joe’s kid at school, on the internet and while playing Xbox (I’ve chatted with them). He is not tolerant of Jane and Joe’s faith as they are his lack of it, and he is not harmless. His goal is to abduct Jane and Joe’s kid into atheism. And they have no way of insulating their child from such influences. So now you might be asking, “what does this have to do with coffee?”
Do not stop reading after I make this statement. If Jane and Joe were as interested in studying their faith more deeply as they are in coffee, they would know how to prepare their child for attacks such as these (Prov. 22:6). You might suppose that I am encouraging Jane and Joe to study their Bibles more. Yes, but also study wonderful books which will help them develop (2 Tim. 2:15). By the way, I don’t mean, the latest 5 minute devotional study. Rather, I am referring to books that scare you! Books you don’t think you can understand are so rewarding when you finally do. Read books on theology, church history, apologetics and soften it up a bit with something from the Christian living section if you must. Jane and Joe cannot insulate their child, but they can equip him at home, using the knowledge they have gained, so that he will be prepared to stand on his own when attacks come. After all, it isn’t just atheists like Christopher Hitchens who are after them, but false teachers within Christianity as well (Jude 1:4). Right now the Southern Baptist Convention is divided over a very important theological matter. Sadly Jane and Joe Christian would not even be aware of the subject. Now is the time to know what you believe.
At this very moment I am indulging in the most responsible addiction of the flesh. I’m drinking coffee. The good news is, I am about to continue drinking it as I study theology. Hitchens, the guy who is after your children, may sadly get his filthy hands on them and abduct them into faithlessness without their parent’s preparation. However, I am going to do everything in my power to show my daughter that I am more interested in her spiritual growth than music, movies, food or caffeine. I will do all I can to prepare her, and I look forward to many long conversations about what God is doing in her life. Where will we have such talks? At Starbucks, of course.

Note: Please pray for the atheist Christopher Hitchens (pictured above). He has recently been diagnosed with stage 4 esophageal cancer.

We Didn't Like Church So We Went to Walmart

DISCLAIMER: A number of people don’t like, or go to, Walmart for a number of political and ethical reasons. If that is the case, then just insert Target, Ikea, gas stations or most any discount store in place of Walmart. If you think I’m making fun of, or criticizing, Walmart you should know I shop there regularly.

As I consider the reasons I most often hear for why “Jane Christian” doesn’t go to church, I have noticed that on those same premises “Jane Christian” should also never go to Walmart (or almost anywhere).  The North American Mission Board of the Southern Baptist Conventionmet this week in Atlanta for their Summer State Leadership Meeting. As the new president of the Conference of Southern Baptist Evangelists (COSBE) I was in attendance. As I heard one report after another I was reminded of the fact that “Jane” (not a specific person, but a name I am using to indicate former churchgoers) is not coming to church and is prepared to tell you why. As we consider some of her reasons, I am asking you to notice how they would, were Jane consistent, lead her away from a number of other institutions (namely, Walmart). In fact, I almost titled this blog If you left church because of the hypocrites, then you’re a hypocrite to go to Walmart.

Church is full of hypocrites

Last week as I was preaching in Evansville, In, A woman made a prayer request which involved her son who doesn’t go to church because he alleges that it contains a number of hypocrites. Since this is one of the most popular claims “Jane Christian” makes lets take a look at it. If you put the argument formally it would look like this: 1) If hypocrites are at church, I won’t go to church, 2) Hypocrites are at church, thus 3) I won’t go to church. Indeed we can all agree with Jane that it is the case that there are hypocrites at church. there is no getting around it. I know some of them. I’ll go a step further. At some point I have probably been the church hypocrite. What is problematic is that one could make the same claim about people who shop at Walmart. Then Jane’s argument would just look like this: 1) If hypocrites are at Walmart, I won’t go to Walmart, 2)Hypocrites are at Walmart, thus 3) I won’t go to Walmart.So if Jane won’t go to church, and she is going to be consistent (not a hypocrite herself), Jane can’t go to Walmart. The only way to refute this is to show that there are not hypocrites at Walmart, or that there is something more valuable at Walmart which demands that Jane puts up with hypocrites in order to get it.

Well, unless plastic swimming-pools, pizza-rolls, Twilight posters, toilet-paper or fish-tanks are more important than the Creator of the universe and His community of believers then there is nothing better at Walmart that would demand Jane’s putting up with hypocrisy there if she doesn’t at church. It would also be silly to argue that there are no hypocrites at Walmart. After all, most of the hypocrites at church are also at Walmart. Furthermore, any place where you are likely to find a full-blown McDonald’s a stone’s throw from diet pills and workout equipment is bound to be a haven for hypocrites. So unless Jane wants to be a hypocrite herself then she must give up on the idea that she is justified in not going to church because of the presence of hypocrites.Yet, Jane has more to say.

I don’t fit in

She might claim that people at church are not enough like herself. That claim would look like this: 1) I don’t go where people are not like me. 2) people at church are not like me, thus 3) I don’t go to church. Naturally, premise two is correct. There are undoubtedly a number of people at church not like Jane. This is true no matter who Jane is. Why? Because there are all kinds of people at church. Here’s the problem. Just as before, the same argument Jane uses above could be ascribed to Walmart. So in order for Jane’s reasoning to stand, she must show that everyone at Walmart is like her (or at least enough like her that she is comfortable). However, this is absurd since the very people she is no enough like at church probably shop at Walmart. Furthermore, it is prohibitively unlikely that Jane is like each of these individuals photographed at Walmart:

Since Jane will likely be unable to demonstrate that she is more like these people than those in her church, she cannot use this argument without rendering herself a hypocrite. Yet, Jane has more to say.

Untrustworthy ministers

She could argue that ministers cannot be trusted because of moral failings. The argument would go like this: 1) If ministers are untrustworthy I won’t go to church, 2) some ministers are untrustworthy, thus 3) I won’t go to church.This argument has been all the rage for the past 25 or 30 years. And Jane is right that there are untrustworthy ministers in the world. Yet, if she makes this claims she cannot go to Walmart without being a hypocrite. First, she is much more likely to encounter an untrustworthy minister at Walmart than at her church. Why? Jane’s local church (depending on size) will likely have less than a handful of ordained ministers. If they are trustworthy then Jane can feel comfortable. On the other hand, every minister in the community, as well as ministers passing through the community, visit Walmart. This means that probabilistically there is a greater chance Jane will encounter an untrustworthy minister at Walmart than at her local church. So on the argument above, Jane should never go to Walmart.

A word should be said about the trustworthiness of ministers. I have now been in full-time evangelism for 4 and a half years. During that time I have only met one individual minister who was in any way untrustworthy. Even in his case, he has repented. The modern caricature of ministers as being money-hungry pedophiles will not stick. Don’t play into that lie. Are there individuals who fit the bill? Absolutely. And when they are found out, the church shouts the loudest.

In conclusion

It is true of a lot of believers that they will not go to church, but they regularly go to Walmart, Target, Kmart, malls, gas stations, Ikeas and a number of other places whose names could have been inserted in place of Walmart’s. Ultimately, since we have seen that their arguments will not work, there must be some other reason they resist the scriptural mandate to ” . . . not forsake the assembling of ourselves together. . .” (Hebrews 10:25). Perhaps it is because someone hurt their feelings. Indeed my feelings have been hurt at walmart when I couldn’t fit into size 32″ jeans. Maybe, they simply don’t want to spend the time, or don’t see the point. Nevertheless, I urge believers to share these thoughts with Christians who have drifted away and urge them with love. Making a clever point about how they are inconsistent will be meaningless if we do not show them that we care at least as much as the Walmart employees. The truth is that what God offers the world through the body of Christ is more valuable than anything at Walmart. It didn’t come at “everyday low prices” but Christ died to purchase it for Jane.

Amber-Alert at the Local Starbucks

(This post was originally made several years ago on my previous blog. Christopher Hitchens has since passed away of cancer)

Let’s talk about coffee. If, by the title, you were expecting some sad human interest story about an abused or abducted child then you came to the wrong place. I am going to tell you about a story of abuse and abduction, but not the kind you’re thinking of. First, however, I want to talk about coffee.
Do you remember the first time you ever bought yourself a cup? As a 90s adolescent I was more fortunate than young men in previous generations in that straight, black, sugerless coffee was no longer what you had to regularly ingest in order to be inducted into the world of manhood. cappuccino was en vogue, and if you really wanted to seem eccentric you could even order a latte. Times have changed. Now coffee is everywhere. You can even get “gourmet” caffeinated concoctions in the strangest places. What does this have to do with child abduction? Just hold on, I’m getting there.
People have become so obsessed with coffee that there are sometimes Starbucks shop’s across the street from each other, as seen above. 21st century Americans spend hours at these places, (I earned my bachelors degree and wrote my first book at coffee shops). Furthermore, a lot of people are so obsessed with coffee that they not only spend time at Starbucks, but also have books about coffee, multiple coffee mugs, multiple coffee makers (espresso and regular), and even art to celebrate coffee (or perhaps western boots it would seem). Perhaps they even have a God, as the mythical siren is featured in the center of the Starbucks logo. What does all of this have to do with child abduction? Alright, alright!
This man is trying to destroy your child’s faith in Christianity. You can brush this off and ignore the reality, but he has made the repeated claim that it is his desire that this generation of Christianity will be the last. He knows the Bible better than Jane and Joe Christian do (you’ll recall from my previous posts that these are names I am using to represent average churchgoers). He knows church history better than Jane and Joe as well. and he is a rhetorical master. By the way, he has compatriots in atheism at many institutions of higher learning where Jane and Joe’s kid will go (I’ve met them). He has an army of like-minded teenage followers who regularly talk to Jane and Joe’s kid at school, on the internet and while playing Xbox (I’ve chatted with them). He is not tolerant of Jane and Joe’s faith as they are his lack of it, and he is not harmless. His goal is to abduct Jane and Joe’s kid into atheism. And they have no way of insulating their child from such influences. So now you might be asking, “what does this have to do with coffee?”
Do not stop reading after I make this statement. If Jane and Joe were as interested in studying their faith more deeply as they are in coffee, they would know how to prepare their child for attacks such as these (Prov. 22:6). You might suppose that I am encouraging Jane and Joe to study their Bibles more. Yes, but also study wonderful books which will help them develop (2 Tim. 2:15). By the way, I don’t mean, the latest 5 minute devotional study. Rather, I am referring to books that scare you! Books you don’t think you can understand are so rewarding when you finally do. Read books on theology, church history, apologetics and soften it up a bit with something from the Christian living section if you must. Jane and Joe cannot insulate their child, but they can equip him at home, using the knowledge they have gained, so that he will be prepared to stand on his own when attacks come. After all, it isn’t just atheists like Christopher Hitchens who are after them, but false teachers within Christianity as well (Jude 1:4). Right now the Southern Baptist Convention is divided over a very important theological matter. Sadly Jane and Joe Christian would not even be aware of the subject. Now is the time to know what you believe.
At this very moment I am indulging in the most responsible addiction of the flesh. I’m drinking coffee. The good news is, I am about to continue drinking it as I study theology. Hitchens, the guy who is after your children, may sadly get his filthy hands on them and abduct them into faithlessness without their parent’s preparation. However, I am going to do everything in my power to show my daughter that I am more interested in her spiritual growth than music, movies, food or caffeine. I will do all I can to prepare her, and I look forward to many long conversations about what God is doing in her life. Where will we have such talks? At Starbucks, of course.

Note: Please pray for the atheist Christopher Hitchens (pictured above). He has recently been diagnosed with stage 4 esophageal cancer.